An Artist's Guide to Having a Muse

1. You don't get to choose your muse. With real muses, the gods of creativity will hit you in the face with this person. All you know is that you are suddenly electrified, with feelings and a fascination that you don't quite know how to place; and the only way to release the sparks zapping around in your head is to create something utterly brilliant in the name of your exalted inspiration.

2. Never get too close to your muse. Your muse is a magical projection, cloaking a mortal human being. Do not befriend your muse, date your muse, reveal feelings for your muse TO your muse, and most of all, sleep with your muse. It will be like the clock striking midnight, leaving you with a pumpkin in place of the carriage and a half finished piece of brilliance never to be worked on again.