A Romantic Poem -- by Ryan of The Bachelorette

My name is Ryan, I put out fires
I like dogs and football, I dislike liars
I went on TV to find a wife, because I am
cute
My mom told me that and...she plays the flute.

I'm going to win this game because I make Trista cry
With my beautiful poetry about love and blue skies
And dolphins and sunsets and things that rhyme with Cat
Like Fat and Hat and Iguana
And Beer Can and Bat

I may not be smart or witty
Or do anything but write bad poetry
I look like a caveman
Without a vocabulary
But I'm a whore on TV
Because ABC needs the ratings.
I hope that Trista picks me
Because my family doesn't know I'm gay.