A Few of My Favorite Surreal Life Quotes:

(as the gang gives the backyard of a battered women's shelter a makeover)
Janice: "You’re not screwing fast enough."
Bronson: "You said that last night, and I think it’s rude either time."

*****
Omarosa: Most people call me a bitch, but it doesn’t matter because I’m more brighter than Donald Trump.

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Omarosa: (To Jose) Doesn’t that make your penis small? I hear steroids make your penis small.
Jose: That’s a misconception. It’s your testicles, not your wiener.

*****
Janice: (About Jose) I hope he rips his pants when he bends over.