I've completely run out of patience. I'm in dire need of space and time alone, but it seems like these are impossible to get between my job and relationship and mostly, my brother being here for his extended tour of duty. Having my brother can be overwhelming because he requires a lot of attention, and honestly, talks NON-STOP. Having him for 2 1/2 weeks is like having your mind in a speeding hamster wheel locked on max speed for 420 hours with no water breaks or breathers. It's like I can't even get any space in my head to formulate a thought, and for a Gemini, this is complete torture. My livelihood requires extended periods of time where I zone out while staring at a blank wall as I think, analyze, compute and categorize every random detail of existence, or in the event of lack of material, my navel. I CAN NOT EVEN EXIST IN MY OWN HEAD.

From pure survivalistic need, I called my mom today to ask if Michael can go home early, even though she had planned to come down tomorrow and we were all supposed to go to Big Bear. She told me that I was mean but that I could book a ticket for him to come home today, but I'm afraid that he's going to be upset and act up on the plane ride home or while at home. I do know that I can't spend this long weekend with them. Or anyone. I've never been so desperate for time alone.