1st Post of 2006

I've been putting off this post, back when it was titled Last Post of 2005, for whatever reason my conscious mind can't wrap around, or rather, too many reasons tangled into a maddening little knot to make any sense of. 2005 was a year that went by in such a blur, it made me realize the speed in which our lives are carried by the currents, and the urgency in which we have to taste the colors and textures and energies around us so that life has not been wasted on us. It's the first year where I considered aging as a reality rather than an abstract, and wondered who I would be years from now, and how I would reflect upon who I was and what I had stood for. One thing that marked 2005 was a newfound thankfulness for the blessings a person encounters when he or she keeps themselves open by stepping out of the now and appreciating everything that is alive and present...from the warmth of a good friend's smile, to the sound of the night when it whispers its secrets to itself in the darkness. Even surfing through blogs and reading the truths of hundreds of strangers who have the courage to reveal their life stories and thoughts and most vulnerable fiber in hopes that within their echoing into the dimensions of the universe, someone or something may echo back. Every person's personal battles and ways of sorting through the confusion of life and existing is an inspiration to those who dare to wonder what it is we're supposed to be doing, and it makes me think that throughout all of our collective stumbling, on some higher level, we're all on the right track.

There are times when I'm engaged in a conversation with friends, and I look around and feel a deep sense of appreciation for the goodness that glows from within the people in my life. No matter what their daily masks, my friends are intelligent, witty, kind and sincere, and have a driving curiosity that expands their horizons and the horizons of those around them. They are people who make those around them better people, just by their willingness to share in the experience of life and grow. I know a lot of people look at their friends and think, I've got a great set of friends, and I think that's not just the right way, but the only way. So often we let people into our lives who don't wish us the best or want us to grow, or who don't want us to achieve our full potential. But when you surround yourself with people who help you expand or even give you the seemingly little things at the most precise times like a needed laugh or kindly hug when you most need it, it makes all the difference in the world. And I just don't think people tell each other often enough or sufficiently enough that they're appreciated, so all of you who are in my life, the Michigan gang, the UCLA gang, the husband, the wife, the Hooch and the Nanny, the kids in the Midwest and the kids in the East, the artists, the rebels and the kids addicted to suits, the kids I haven't talked to in years and the kids I see every day, even the strangers I know only from your generosity in sharing your stories and thoughts on the internet, every single one of you under this blanketing sky...I think about all of you probably more often than you might think...and I want you all to know that I'm grateful for your existence and your truth to yourselves, and I hope you all have a wonderful 2006.