Today I discovered that dropping Mentos into a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke causes a glorious soda geyser.

Today I remembered how much pyro-fun can be had with lighting non-dairy creamer with a cigarette lighter.

Today I had a loud-volume conversation with my mom about prenuptial agreements.

Today I realized that the cost of remodeling is very expensive.

Today I learned that changing to a new cellphone number because Sprint screwed up your plan but not telling anyone means getting left out while your friends go ice-skating downtown.

Today I indulged in a beautifully luxurious afternoon nap.

Today I watched a French movie about futuristic cannabilism, but I spent most of my time looking at the actors and wondering what constitutes "good-looking" in France.

Today I tried to play NBA 2K7 on xbox, then quit, blaming my poor performance on a faulty controller.

Today I feared that my brain may be at its limit of capacity.

Today I wondered when extraterrestrials would finally make contact again, and if us humans could manage to behave in a calm and civilized manner when they do.

Today I vowed to be in bed by midnight, but lost ground when I spent half an hour looking up photos of Britney's new man on the internet.

I think one of the beauties of having a 9-5 is knowing that you've entered into an implied agreement with your employer that 2 days a week belong strictly to you, when you aren't owned by anyone else. My only regret today was not being able to make it to Costco in time to get econo-sized packages of Mentos and non-dairy creamer. And getting the message about ice skating a day too late.