My father's wise response to my wolf story:

My personal view is that the woman is very nice and kind, but you can never trust a wild animal even it shows all the nice gestures and love. There are better ways to be nice and care but not stupid enough to get yourself hurt.

On the other hand, we are dealing with people, human beings here. Sometimes, you just can not tell what is under that face and heart. Always be very cautious before you are fully committed. Constantly watch for those little signals and signs of those people you don't know well.

Life and relationship is just like your own house, you don't invite everyone to your house. Some of them, you may just let them in to your living room as a courtesy when you need to; some of them, you let them in to your living room to share more personal life. You just have to be very careful when you let someone to your bedroom and personal life.

You guys may not agree with me, but this world is too complicated. We want to be nice and caring, we shall also be protective to ourselves and our families.

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You guys want to know a secret? Everyone knows how difficult my last relationship was; but I promise you, everything happens for a reason. Remember how I told you, "The devil likes to play a drowning man...don't give him a hand..." ? Well, this man (and I use the term "man" here very loosely) was determined to drown and after lending a hand and nearly drowning myself, I walked away. Here's the thing; here was the information that I was given beforehand, before making a decision to take on this life challenge. Dated 11/2/02 (4 months before we started dating). What I was shown of him and our future:

* We challenge each other. Powerful sexual attrraction. But M is not in true partnership mode. He's attracted to me, but thinks he's good-looking and knows a lot of girls. He's playing with life, makes up his own rules of the game. He's a fool who is not developed enough to think outside of his own skin. He's a flirt but at this time, he's pissed off at a girl so he's playing games. But he thinks I'm smarter than him and is afraid that I will figure out his game and beat him at it. He hides his feelings and is very calculating. He has his own mating game (for example, he likes to ignore girls to get a reaction). Likes to play with people; he's playing with life. He's trying to work out my game and sees me as being strong. He will try to play me.

Anyone who knows us will know how accurate this is. Creepy, huh? So why did I go ahead with it anyway? Because I don't like to think that things are that bad in the world, that people can be so rotten. Because I want to think that I can use my knowledge and passion to change things and help modify when people are off their paths. And I was always taught to never leave a man behind. But then came all the lies. All the lies I got caught up in that he told me, all the lies we got caught up in that he told himself. And the bullshit and the disrespect (Mike...did you really think I wouldn't find out about the things you said???)

But is this one a lost cause? It doesn't matter to me. I only know that I have washed my hands of him. He wants the train wreck that he's heading for and I don't want to be around in any capacity when that reality comes around the bend for him and manifests. Because it's horrifying. But it's not my life and I walked away because it's not my responsibility. And this is a lesson for which I am grateful.

I have learned to appreciate those people around me who are true. Those who have that rare inner light and strength. And as much as it has saddened me that I have not always appreciated it, it makes me count my blessings even more that I can see and experience the true beauty around me. It reminds me that I need to contribute to those who are living, not those who are dying.

I hope to continue growing and becoming a better person, and learning how to give to the world so that one day, we can all be strong and filled with light. And for myself, I know that one day, when I'm ready, I will bring home a son-in-law that will allow my father to feel that he no longer has to worry about me.