I talked to my brother yesterday and he asked if he could visit me on his summer break. I said okay. He asked if he could book his ticket now and I said sure. So I guess he did and he emailed me his itinerary and he's booked a stay for 20 days. 20 DAYS!!! His entire break! So I'm flipping because I was thinking, you know, like a week-long visit. So I wrote him this email in jest. His hilarious response follows:

Dear Michael,
I noticed that you plan to stay for 20 days with me. Since that is such a
long time, this trip will not count as a vacation for you. Therefore, here
are my terms:

1. You will get a job. I don't care what kind of job. You have to find a job
while you're here. And a real job, too. Not a job where I have to pay you.
Because you will be taking out my garbage for free.

2. I get 50 percent of your paycheck from this job which counts as your rent
and food charges. And anything else I have to pay for, I will create a bill
which you will have to pay within a week's time of the purchase. This
includes clothes, movie tickets, keychains and airplanes.

3. You will clean my house and make my bed every day.

4. If I want a foot massage, you have to do it. I will pay you: 50 cents for
30 minutes. 75 cents for 1 hour. 1 dollar if you give me a massage and feed
me at the same time.

5. You will go to the gym with me 5 days a week. If you burn more than 400
calories on a cardio machine, I will buy you a jamba juice. If I burn more
calories than you, you will wash my car.

6. You will treat me to dinner once a week. And don't tell me you don't have
enough cash. I will take you to an ATM.

Okay?

Thank you,
Julia S.

***********************************************************

JULIA

THNAK YOU FOR THE E-MAIL. I WILL DO ALL THESE CHORES. IF I DO A GOOD JOB, MAY I HAVE SOME FUN PLEASE? OK.

MICHAEL