see, who you are is like a million polarities simultaneously attracted and repelled to different degrees at different times, forming a complex system that continually changes with different aspects dominating depending on the degree of tension between certain polarities.

if you want to explore certain things, ideas or perspectives, you imagine particular polarities and you stretch them as far apart from each other as you can like a rubber band, putting great energy and thought into one concept/point/image/idea, then opposing energy and thought into the other. basically, you have to believe in both equally strongly, until they are almost the same thing to you. because at some point in the infinity continuum, polar opposites co-exist as the exact same point. this is why it's very very important to make sure you identify concepts in direct opposition or you'll see that it doesn't work. you need to be as extreme as possible, exerting as much energy simultaneously into both, but ideally, you exert an equal amount of energy into each polarity so that it is balanced. and through that aggravated tension, new syntheses of idea are born by observing what is revealed in the tension between the polarities.

my point is, don't read too much into things. i do my best to entertain strangers, update friends, etc., but this has always been first and foremost my mental training space.