"So just because I have a girlfriend, we can't be friends?"

"I don't have a problem with being friends with you. I have a problem with you trying to act like you might possibility be available if I'm willing to fall for you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there's nothing going on here. I have a great girlfriend. Nothing on you, but I'm not planning to leave her."

"Probably not."

"I won't."

"Uh huh."

"What are you saying?"

"You're an emotional masturbator. You come out here, dangle a little bait, role-play the highs of 'what if I were available,' 'what if this girl really fell for me,' get your kicks, come all over yourself for being such a great guy who could fall in love with someone else, who had every opportunity to cheat but didn't, then go home to your girlfriend like some prize when she should be leaving your ass. Why? Because just the fact I have to explain this to you when you know full well you were toeing the line makes you just another unoriginal turd."