Ah, i figured it out. i'm afraid that if he can't understand me but still insists on staying close, when my insides get anxious and angry because what I'm trying to communicate isn't being understood, i'll get frustrated and resent him and lash out at him. so if i were supportive of myself, wouldn't i say, the need to be understood is very important to me so i shouldn't compromise in this area, for the benefit of both parties involved? It's amazing how similar my brother's and my brain are. Sometimes I think my wiring is the same as his, but I just learned how to fake it better. I understand why autistic kids pound their heads against the wall out of frustration. Not being able to communicate what you desperately want to communicate and not being understood is an intense drowning feeling. They're lashing out, desperate for a way to be understood. I think being truly understood feels like an affirmation that you truly exist.