I just got back from Hotdog, the Saturday night event at this gay bar. I went because I was promised there would be gay porn projected.

Walking in, the first things I see are male strippers dancing on a stage in front of a screen that had erotic film clips projected onto it. The strippers' themes were Cowboy, and Mexican Wearing a Poncho (I know he was supposed to specifically be Mexican because his poncho had the colors of the Mexican flag on it). According to Brian, I walked into the door and my jaw just dropped. I was completely captivated by the strippers and how men would go up and nuzzle their faces into the stripper's crotch. It was kind of hot. If someone wanted to call me gay, I think I'm much more gay man than lesbian. By the way, gay men are so much hotter than straight men. It's so unfair. Also by the way, Brian has agreed to take me to a lesbian bar in an effort to get me over my fear of burly lesbians.

Speaking of...I don't know what...I was at forty deuce early in the week for Thode's birthday and I went to use the restroom. There was a white girl with short curly hair waiting in front of me. And before I go further with this story, let me say that I had gotten a good look at her and she was most definitely a girl. Well, when I went in after her, I was surprised to find the toilet seat was up.

Now...why would the seat be up after a girl goes in there?? I was so incredibly confused. I've heard of guys who pee sitting down (yeah, certain people...you know I'm talking about you), but girls who pee standing up?

I bet Julia Roberts pees standing up.