5/12 Recap

I've gotta make this quick and dirty since I need to get up in 4 1/2 hours. I feel like I've been running on so little sleep and such a creative high ever since the NY trip. Or maybe I've just been quietly tripping about these things and these are but my muffled screams.

I went to a play with Reggie that was about truth and following your impulses. He let me analyze the performances and point out the nuances of concentration and actors who are playing off the audience and losing their centers.

Afterwards, we went to my friend John's birthday party at Q's. Here's the thing. I randomly went onto Friendster on Tuesday, and that site's doing birthday notifications now. I saw that his birthday was "today." So I dropped him a quick line that just said happy birthday. He writes back that he's having a party on Thursday and sends me and evite. So even though I'm going to a play, I make a point of stopping by since I haven't seen those guys in 2 years.

I get there and Reggie's friends happen to be there. We explore the bar further and I find John and his crew playing pool. I see my friend Randy and I get happy. He and I used to work together and we used to hang out a lot after we both quit. He used to invite me out then kind of ignore me, so it was never clear if he was interested in me. He started dating this girl (the relationship went on to last 3 years) and he was eccentric with her, doing things like not even spending Valentine's Day with her and going to a concert with his friends instead, despite having been dating for a year. And he would still call me and invite me out, but sometimes I wouldn't come out because it was awkward and because sometimes he wasn't friendly, so I didn't understand what exactly our relationship was. I see him and I'm happy because I'm thinking, "friend I haven't seen in a while," but he says hi in a really unfriendly way then makes a big show of ignoring me. I'm like, what the hell, so I go say happy birthday to John. He's a very friendly guy. I have no interest in him whatsoever. So I'm just asking him where he's working now when out of nowhere, this girl pushes her way between us, sticks out her hand and says, "Hi. I'm Eva. John's girlfriend." Being always diplomatic and friendly as I am, I quash the recognition of her antagonism in my head and just introduce myself and ask about her. I'm a pretty friendly innocent person so she chilled out a little bit. But the vibe was messed up, and I could tell Reggie wasn't liking it either. It's kind of cute how protective he is of me. So we slip out of the room and go back to the booth his friends had saved us.

I have to admit though, this kind of hurt my feelings, which is a huge admission for me. And of all people, I was surprised that Randy could hurt my feelings, considering he's not that close to me and I don't really care enough for feelings to be hurt. But it hurt to be blindsighted by someone who you think is a friend and always had positive regard for, and I think just the circumstances of that was what tripped me up. His friend Paul told me as I slipped out of the room, that Randy's girlfriend broke up with him 6 weeks ago after three years so he's still pretty bummed about it. But to be honest, he didn't treat her that well and really took her for granted. So perhaps he's just being a huge dick and taking something weird out on me. Honestly, he can't ever say that I rejected him back in the day and he can't say that I was anything but nice and respectful of him. He was never clear about what he wanted and frankly, I found his moods to be incredibly inconsistent.

Regarding John's girlfriend, Reggie said later that the moment I hugged John, his girlfriend came storming over from across the room, made a big deal of keeping her body between his and mine and was looking me up and down like, "Who the fuck IS this bitch."

I haven't seen a catty display like that since junior high.

What a strange night.

I have been on such a people watching kick lately. I just want to watch people, analyze who they are, how they think, what their secrets are, and it fuels my creative process. It helps me grow and builds a better understanding of our inner wirings. I feel safe to people watch with Reggie since he makes sure that I don't get harassed.