Last night, the phone rang and the caller ID popped up as Kristi Lang* (name slightly changed). I picked it up and the person hung up.

Then, sometime around 3AM, yes, I repeat, 3AM, the phone rings again. Now, I'm the type who gets really jumpy when the phone rings in the middle of the night, because you never get good news when the phone rings in the middle of the night. I look at the caller ID and it says Private Caller, which gets me more scared because that's how my parents' number comes up. So I pick it up in a mild panic, and this chick goes (none too politely), "Is Richard there?" I'm uber-irritated because I don't know who the fuck Richard is, but he sure as hell isn't at my house at 3am so I tell her she has the wrong number. She quickly hangs up. About 5 minutes later, the phone wakes me up again and this time, the ID says, "Kristi Lang." I answer the phone and she says, "Is Richard there?" I yell, "You called me last night! There isn't a Richard here." She asks me if this is a new number and I say no, and then she hangs up.

So I'm really irritated because I'm just not the type of person who likes being woken up, especially by really bitchy strangers looking for their mensfolk. But then I've also been reading Helter Skelter which is all about the Charlie Manson cult and the brutal Tate murders, which has had me sleeping with the light on when I'm home alone because it scares the hell out of me. So now a part of me is irritated for getting woken up, and another part of me is scared that the call was someone who was checking to make sure I was at home in preparation of breaking in and killing me. I decided the best defense would be to curl up in a fetal position and go back to sleep, but I have to say, when I woke up this morning, I was really tired and cranky and irritated with that caller.

So I did a reverse search on her phone number and came up with her address. I'm thinking if I were evil, I could probably do something with it, like send her weird mindfuck things in the mail like cut out pictures of farm animals or disposable kitchen utensils at random intervals. Or if I were just mildly evil, I could call her at 3am tomorrow night and ask her if Richard was there.

Mostly, I think I'm just irritated that she woke me up at 3am twice, but wasn't even polite enough to apologize.

Richard...your chick is rude.