rie put it best. so many people act like when a man asks a woman to marry him, it's going to be this big, surprising, magical moment where a girl has to suddenly decide at that moment if she wants to spend the rest of her life with this person. that's kind of a childish way to look at it...it almost sounds like a game show. i like to think that marriage is a decision between two adults. ideally, it's slowly worked towards and openly communicated about. nothing is hid and you can speak openly about your ideas of partnership and expectations, and express hopes and fears in terms of what each person can give or needs. it's basically merging individual egos and sharing goals, visions and decisions within the same level of trust and comfort. if you don't know or aren't sure, you aren't ready. it doesn't matter how drama-ful or drama-less the ramp up to this place is. there has to be partnership. there has to be complete open communication and trust. there has to be an unadulterated connection that bonds you together into an entity greater than the parts.
if you live in the moment and let the moment live for you, if you forge on bravely with your only focus being to overcome any obstacle that appears before you while never letting go of your partners hand, you'll be able to lift your head above the flow of the river, an echo of a moment where everything stands still and the present is neither past nor future. you'll see exactly what it is that you have.
some people focus on things that will make them happy.
some people focus on things that will make them unhappy.
when my partner and i sleep, we intertwine our bodies with our foreheads touching, our sense of selves following silent thoughts along twisted pathways into the other's depth where we sit and breathe. i am inside him and outside him. he is inside me and outside me. when we dream the same dream, there is no separation.