The following is an open letter to Rick Fox of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Dear Mr. Dick Fox:

It has come to my attention, via a bombardment of fawning media, that you fancy yourself the best looking man alive. Perhaps this is the result of too many post-game groupies cooing at you out of naivete because you remind them of their fathers. Perhaps this is the result of too many yes men complimenting the size of your gat. Perhaps this is because your unnaturally white teeth blinded a beautiful woman out of her good senses and she consented to marry you, thus raising your goodlookingness stock by misguided association. I have taken it upon myself to inform you that not only are you an aesthetic boiling blister on the collective face of malekind, but I am also requesting you to stop fancying yourself an actor, and please remove your narcissistic smarmy image off my TV set.

In a petition of sorts, I have made a list of all things better looking than you (in no particular order):

1. Every NBA player outside of Sam Cassell and Popeye Jones
2. Every US Senate Member, both living and deceased
3. Jared from Subway
4. The stain on the ceiling in Room 206 of the Las Vegas Howard Johnson
5. My Ass

It is my sincere hope that you take this letter to heart and reconsider your national compaign to stroke your ego. Any future endorsement obligations requiring media representations should be forfeited to Mr. Taye Diggs or Tiki and Ronde Barber.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Warmest Regards,

3am Wanderer