Friday, January 31, 2003

I just got up and running on friendster.com which is a pretty cool site because you realize how small the world is.

Now, I want to ask all you out there in rhetoric land a question:

I know we live in a society where both sexes complain about miscommunication, dishonesty with feelings and fears of intimacy and commitment. Monogamy reigns supreme and that is what we all "strive" for. But then everyone knows that everyone checks everyone else out, regardless. Perhaps this is the most basic of our instincts at work.

I'm all about monogamy when I commit to being in a relationship, and I take it very seriously. But when I'm not in a relationship, I feel guilty about exploring my options simultaneously. I worry about having an open dialogue with a bunch of guys; I'm inevitably going to end up exploring things with the guy who can gain the most ground the quickest as far as establishing that "something," but then what do you say to the other guys? Sorry, but you moved too slowly? Maybe I think too much. But most likely it's because I've been watching the Bachelorette. But she's kind of lucky in a way. All the guys understand that she's going to explore her options. And they're too scared to play their macho possessive bullshit because they know they'll lose the girl and there aren't any other girls around to buffer their egos from bruising. There's just such a weird thin line between being perceived as a slut or player and just someone who wants to see everything that life has to offer. I don't sleep around. Hell, I barely even date because it's so much less complicated when you keep things platonic. But I do like to meet a lot of new people and for once I'd like to do it without feeling guilty about it.