Yo yo yo! So I'm new. I hope this is the website that Lauren was telling me about. Otherwise, I may have just accidentally joined some weird porn ring and now my name and email is on some FBI list of weirdos to track. But then again, I should have made that list years ago (hi, guy down in the Joe's Plumbing van sitting outside my building! Yeah, you know who I'm talking bout. No, not you ugly bald guy in the bad suit...the agent sitting next to you).

We've got Chinese New Year coming up and I'm contemplating going up north to celebrate. They say that the upcoming year (Goat) is good for people born in the year of the horse. I sure hope so. And plus, Saturn is finally out of Gemini in a few months. And have I been working hard? Hardly working, I would say. This obsession with basketball is getting the best of me. I find myself blaring rap music and leering at hot black guys. I guess the saying goes, "Once you go black, you never go back...until your parents threaten you." What do you expect from conservative Chinese parents? I'll bring home whoever the heck I want. Even if it means I'm sleeping in the backyard because the German Olympic Porn Team is unacceptable company to bring to Sunday dinner. Now I bet people think I'm obsessed with porn. I guess I've said it twice now. (think about kittens, think about kittens...)

Today was a good day. I hate my neighbors. Tutored then thought about going to some Super Bowl parties but then started feeling antisocial (aka FAT). So I went to the gym and watched some of the game from there. But frankly, I really didn't give a damn. I should probably start back up writing soon. I've been pretty damn lazy as of late.

For the record, I think Kathy Griffin is the Mole. And the kid from Dinotopia looks like a girl. And Joe Millionaire is an idiot. And Russ on the Bacholorette is the devil. He's a scary possessive freak! And lastly, I am watching way too much reality TV.

FUN FACT: Last week I had dinner with Elizabeth Berkley from Saved by the Bell (or Showgirls, if you're a pervert).

Seriously. It was surreal. Hey, does anyone have a boyfriend I can borrow? Just...you know...sometimes I get lonely...