mind control.

you get accused of it even when you're not.

maybe you are. you'll believe it if they try hard enough, but part of you hopes that they won't.

what the other side is like is lines and numbers where things come in backwards. its logic and reason and truth as cement and truth as delusion. i saw the seer who gained knowledge by blinding himself after a deep wound to his heart.

and i can not accept him because his heart isn't mine.

you have always asked me whether i've given my heart away. you've used so many people to ask me and i lie every time. i told you i will tell you the truth when i see you. i don't know why you don't believe my resolve in this. you will get the truth when i see you. just make up your mind if you're ready to get it.

why sex? because sex is where people hurt each other, intentionally, unintentionally. they don't know what it can be about. i took the time to figure it out and i found something really transformational. i had to give up my naivete to get it, but i see that the knowledge has brought a lot of positive things into my life. i'm only as honest as people allow me to be. it has to do with people not being able to handle the truth. it's hard for everyone. seriously. but the people who move on quicker are the ones who take a deep breath and just confront it with their eyes open.

live the life you want to live. if you're content, then you decide who you want in your life and who you don't. build it. right or wrong, just build it the way that makes your insides feel the most ease.

i already have a home. it's a matter of who i'm waiting for.