waiting for answers that will never come, for a person who was never there, for a promise of truth as empty as the dreamer's eyes.

i put all of my faith in a carrot.

"what is it that i'm waiting for?" always a whirlwind of poetry but never an answer. how could i possibly stay when it became too painfully obvious? always a "wait and see...it's coming," always in the horizon. never a reality. i think the truth is, there never was a place for me. i was led on. i was manipulated. i allowed myself to become blinded by my own dreams to dismiss the glaring signs. there is no one sadder about it than me. but i stood up.

why, in the face of the obvious, is it so difficult for me to believe in never? my fatal flaw is that i believe in the impossible. i believe in miracles. i'm not going to throw out the good with the bad. i'm just going to trust myself more next time.