went to berkeley tonight to meet up with rie and head over to aubrey and candice's to visit their baby. we went to pick up some food at the berkeley bowl, this whole-foods like market where the produce is supposed to be all local. i was driving the shopping cart with seigo in it, and we were talking about where i should move as she picked out some organic mango slices from a plastic bin. i said, "i just feel like san jose will be really boring."

a big, black brutha who looked like a rich man's common, overheard and walked by saying, "yeah it'll be." i laughed and rie stared. "you don't want to live in san jose," he said, smiled and walked away.

i went on saying that fremont would be worse when rie turned around almost in a panic and said, "that guy was really hot! why didn't you do anything?"

"what was to be done?" i asked. it's not like he stopped and asked me for my number and i said no. "besides," i said, nodding towards seigo, "he probably talked to me cuz he thought seigo's my kid, so i'm safe." we kept bumping into him in the aisles and almost because rie had made a big deal of it, i was embarrassed every time.

we headed over to aubrey and candice's with takeout and spent the night chatting with them. rie and eric only live about 10 minutes away from them, so i hope they can hang out, even if i'm not there. rie's my best friend from college and aubrey's my best friend from high school. they both recently had kids. they should hang.

ethan fell asleep in my arms and i didn't want to move and wake him, so i told aubrey to go take a nap while his son was down. i can't imagine it, how new parents can function on so little sleep.

we drank wine with candice. girl talk. men, life, etc. biggest disappointment? a bad kisser.

"can a guy be a bad kisser but good in bed?"

"NO!" we said. if a guy's a bad kisser, who sticks around long enough to find out if he's good in bed?

candice can not believe my celibacy thing. why do you think i went so nuts with basketball last year?

"it's not from lack of trying," i said.

"it IS from lack of trying," rie said.

i've always been very good about not rebounding between relationships. if i meet a guy and really like him, i want to know that i'm being fair to him and the relationship, to feel confident that i know to the best of my understanding up to this point in life what i want, what i need. to like a guy for who he is rather than projections and mitigating circumstances driven by the past. i won't use you. please don't use me. that's what i try to bring to relationships. that, and absolute awesomeness.

but this requires long stretches of self-discipline, soul-searching, and lots and lots and lots of exercise. i'm just looking for someone i can really feel connected with.

got a message from michael. my mom has a free southwest ticket which she said i could use to fly back to seattle. these tickets can be booked anytime so i've been procrastinating with it, but michael's our family travel agent so he offered to book it for me. he booked it, but he didn't change the name so apparently, my mom was booked for a flight to seattle. had to head home to fix it.

it amazes me to think that the next time i come back to the bay area, probably in 6-8 weeks, ethan will be so much bigger. he's 6 weeks now, but infants grow so fast. the development is exponential.

before leaving, i took this picture of seigo:

precious little munchkin.