Ah, yes. I'm a nerd. I have no qualms about admitting that I'm a nerd. I read for hobby. I analyze the repressed feelings of cartoon characters. I wonder why Quantum Leap ever went off the air. And I've got wicked high IQ. But what I don't do, is sit around creating computers viruses just because I can, and just to bring Microsoft to its knees because..."Fuck Microsoft."

So this weekend featured my computer being hit with the Sasser virus. Which means it shuts down just about a minute after start up. I mean, it doesn't wreck your hard drive or anything (as far as I know), but it's a freakin' nuisance since I ended up rebooting a good 30 times over the weekend just trying to stay on long enough to run a virus scan (which was never accomplished.) And I can't help but think that if these people who sit around and create brilliant viruses because they hate Microsoft just put some of their brain power and energy into something productive, like curing cancer or solving world hunger or getting American Idol off the air, then the world could advance at a brilliant pace towards collective productivity rather than splashing around in a puddle of our own filth and envy.

In other news, my mother appears to be having some sort of mid (?) life crisis and has dyed her hair blond. Picture to come. Apparently, she went to see Mean Girls on Saturday and joked that she was the "Cool Mom." I asked her why she doesn't just go for it all and get a boob job, and then a little lap dog to chew on it. She said, "I'm thinking about it." I wasn't sure she was kidding but hung up the phone to go bang my head repeatedly against a board with a nail sticking through it.

Speaking of Mean Girls, despite receiving mixed reviews, this movie was funny as hell. I have a loyalty to SNL movies, since I have a loyalty to SNL, since I aspired to be an SNL writer ever since childhood. I love Tina Fey--she's smart, sexy and exudes charisma. The movie was a teen movie and hit the formula and cliches like marks, but hell...it was a good teen movie. I liked the play on stereotypes, and the fact that they separated the Asian Nerds from the Cool Asians in the cafeteria.

I went and saw The Underpants on Saturday. the play adapted by Steve Martin playing at the Geffen. Very raunchy and fun. You could hear Steve Martin's voice in it, for sure. I learned something new from the heroine. When trying to seduce a man, not only should you have your legs spread and sticking straight up in the air, but it helps if you make exaggerated pointing gestures at your cootch.

Sarita, Rebecca, Lauren and I attempted to bar hop on Saturday to look at places that I might have my birthday party. We stopped by Belly, which had nice decor and music, but the parking was $10, the bar requires a $15 minimum to open a tab, and the crowd was lame. They suggested that I have the party at my place, since I've never had a party there and it's a sweet pad. But I just don't want people coming in and junking my place since...you know, it's mine. But I'm considering it, since I'm really tired of all the bars. Anyway, we ended up just going to Red Rock because it's in walking distance to one of our houses. The place is a total meat market. I hate meat markets. But it's great for people watching. We ran into AD and Amal there which was awesome cuz those two are a couple of characters. I met a German guy who seemed a bit intent on cheating on his girlfriend, so I left him and Lauren to talk about German culture while I quietly observed the bizarre, drunken mating rituals that were going on around me. At the end of the night, Sarita and I went to get my car and this really drunk middle-aged slob tried to pick a fight with us. He got right up in Sarita's face and kept asking her where she lived. She wouldn't tell him and he wouldn't go away. We moved to an area about 5 feet away. His friend came up to apologize for him, but I could see him getting all riled up in the background. Then he comes marching back over to us to ask us why we had such attitudes and were such bitches for not telling him where we lived. Okay, I got pissed at this point. Because I'm sober and this guy is sloppy drunk and being a dick, and he has no right to call us bitches just because we're not letting him harass us. So I have more leverage because I'm sober and my brain actually functions and all he can do is to keep calling me a bitch and say how he would never date me (jeez. I'm heartbroken). So finally, I've just about had it with him and I tell him that his penis must be really tiny for him to be trying to pick a fight with a couple of girls. He can't quite process a comeback so he just kind of stutters and finally says, "Well, YOU'RE insecure."

Right.

My car finally comes and we get out of there.