Tuesday, August 10, 2004

No Cowbells For YOU...

Yes!!! Send Chris Webber AWAY.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?columnist=smith_sam&id=1856243

I have only one trade scenario to offer:

LA Lakers - Lakers send Vlade. Kings send The Crybaby. Pros: Vlade arrives back in Sac and, "Just kidding," we find that he was only doing what was best for The Kid (Peja) and the team. In an ingenious plot, Vlade has managed to rid Sac of the Hobbling Ego that will never ever ever carry any team into that Press Conference at the end of the Tunnel. Peja is reunited with his beloved "I Love It When You Call Me" Big Poppa. Fueled by the summer disaster of nearly losing Vlade, he goes on to have a superstar season. Remember last year when he carried the Kings after Bobby J. and CWebb were out? When the Kings played like a team and didn't have to run things through the Ego down low who could barely make it up and down the court? Yeah. A "team" with Chris Webber is like a "romantic" dinner with a big steaming pile of crap in the middle of the table--it's disqualified by its very definition. A championship will never happen as long as Webber or anyone else believes he's going to be the one to deliver the championship. Vlade, Peja, Bobby, Bibby, Miller, Christie, that rookie who looks like Christie and a Webber-less supporting cast means a team without the "Me" and a promising run in the West. Meanwhile, Kobe and Chris Webber, who by heaven and hell absolutely deserve each other, have to share the ball and the locker room. A bidding war ensues and Fox wins the rights to the reality show that follows Chris and Kobe as they learn that there is life on earth beyond themselves. The following season, Fox brilliantly joins the forces of Chris and Kobe with that of Paris and Nicole, sending them off on an iceberg to Antarctica. No cameras, no show. Just a gift to the rest of humankind. Cons: What cons?!? In my head, this trade is already done.