Oh God.

I thought I was stronger than this.

I thought I could walk up to a guy in a crowded bar, grab his hand and say, "Let's do body shots and make out," then do what needs to be done and let it go at that--just another good night's conquest--before moving on to normal things like scrubbing the bathroom floors and cutting out coupons from the Sunday paper the next morning. You know, what bona fide studs do on weekends.

But somehow, I have turned into a quivering blob of girl obsessed.

I just went over the photos taken from that infamous family night out and holy goddam! Just found the sexiest photo I've ever taken stashed between random innocuous candids. I mean, my friends as my witnesses, I've got this dysfunctional love affair with my camera and have taken some pretty crazy sexy freaky cool innappropriate photos...me as Taloofa Jankins with a Loofah stuffed down hot pink butthuggers, me pretending to sodomize Lauren with a beer bottle, me having a hot black man caress my bare stomach with his tongue and hundreds upon hundreds of spanking photos...

But this one...this one eats the whole damn cake, stripper inside and all. If I had the technical capabilities, I'd post this photo but I don't...but I mean, GODDAM! It makes a religious woman out of me! Worshipping some rock hard granite idol with phallic symbols of gargantuan proportions and praying for blessed rain in private nether regions.

...................

I need to see this mystery man again. If only to show him our captured moment of debauchery and slap him a high five. Though, I can not guarantee his safety.