It's been driving me crazy how Suri Holmes-Cruise, outside of looking a bit like a test-tube alien child, reminds me of someone but I just can't put my finger on it. It's been driving me crazy for a while now.

I was getting a haircut today, and since hair salons are where the best rumors run free, I asked my WeHo ear-to-the-ground pop-shaman what the deal was with Suri.

He said, "The latest rumor is that Tom's cousin donated sperm because Lord Knows, Tom doesn't have it in him to make a baby."

And then I had one of those Aha! moments. I knew who she looked like! I know Tom probably has many cousins, but I know of one in particular. Last year I had been marathoning Lost and had looked up the guy who plays creepy Ethan, only to find that he was Tom Cruise's cousin. And he happens to look like Suri, or more appropriately, Suri happens to look exactly like him.

Look at the eyes. They both have a strange downward slant and hooded lids:



Who knows. Maybe she got it from Tom's side of the family and he's really the father. Stranger things have happened. But while I'd been more inclined to think she was a genetic clone of Katie or spliced with DNA from the hair off a brush of L. Ron Hubbard, I guess this cousin theory is more plausible.

I hope Katie's 5 year/$8 million contract + perks is worth it.