Here it comes...fall...my favorite season, but also the most difficult time of year for me....the slow, grueling spiritual death before spring regeneration. My deep-seated fear of November. november november november. why am i so terrified of november? what happened in november??????????????????

I disappear during the fall and cut off a lot of contact with people and I can feel it coming on already. But it's not something i am big enough to control even though i wish to god i could. fall spins shadows out of control. they overtake the walls. and then the ghosts want to talk.

and while the door has been opened today, can i just say the one piece of truth that i've never had the guts to say in my entire life?

i hate what my family made me.