Some of my favorite quotes from Romy and Michele's High School Reunion:

[looking at yearbook pictures]
Romy : Oh my God! Remember what a big controversy it was for us to have our picture taken together?
Michele : Yeah, because Danny Weller like, lodged that complaint. Because alphabetically he was supposed to be between us.
Romy : So we said: "OK Danny. If you want to be between us, come to Michele's house on Friday night and we'll be waiting."
Michele : And then he showed up, and we were like: "Danny, it was a joke!"
Romy : And then we turned the sprinklers on him! [both laugh hysterically]
Michele : Oh my God! [abruptly stops laughing]
Michele : Didn't he die?
Romy : I think so.

******

Heather : Why are you tormenting me? Why don't you go fuck a sheep, or your sister, or YOURSELF? Braindead redneck asshole!

******
Clarence: By the way, I never fucked a sheep or my sister.
Heather: Why? You couldn't catch them?

******

Romy : Hey, um, great suit. Is that an Armani?
Suit Salesman : Yes. Yes, it is.
Romy : I thought so. So, what do you do?
Suit Salesman : I'm a suit salesman.
Romy : Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.

******

Michele : Oh my God, you did it!
Romy : Yeah, I did.
Michele : What did you have to do?
Romy : I had to give everyone in the service department hand jobs.
Michele : Well, while you were doing that, I made us a tape of all the nostalgic songs from high school to get us in the mood.
Romy : Michele?
Michele : What?
Romy : Do you really think I would do that? For a car?
[Michele stares blankly]
Romy : Just get in.
Michele : O.K.

******
Heather : Do you live with Michele Weinberger?
Romy : Yeah.
Heather : I just figured she'd be married to Sandy by now.
Romy : Sandy Frink?
Heather : Yes, Sandy Frink! He could barely contain his erection every time she walked by! Why do you think he always carried around that huge notebook?
Romy : The Frink-a-zoid and Michele... I'm sure! Besides, didn't *you* have a thing for Sandy in high school?
Heather : I did not have a THING! I did not have a thing, I did NOT have a THING! I was VERY much in love with him! VERY much in love and there's a difference!
[to customer behind her]
Heather : There's a difference!
[to Romy]
Heather : There's a difference!
[whispers]
I have to go now.

******
Toby Walters : Since you never got around to it in high school, I was wondering if you would sign my yearbook. And please don't tell me to fuck off, because it really hurts my feelings.
Heather : I hurt your feelings?
Toby Walters : Yeah, all the time.
Heather : Tremendous! That's tremendous! Go get your stupid yearbook, I would be happy to sign it!

******
Heather : This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.

******
Michele : For me, it's like I've just given birth to my own baby girl, except she's like a big giant girl who smokes and says "shit" a lot. You know?

******

Romy : I've been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
Michele : That's impossible. Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your shoes?

******
Romy : Well, anyways, are you going?
Heather : [referring to her cigarette] I'd rather put this out in my ass!

******
Michele : Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
Romy : Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.

******
Romy : Well at least she's not the one who got *fat*.
Christie : We're pregnant, you half-wit.
Romy : Yeah, well, I hope your babies look like monkeys!

******
Michele : I'm the Mary, and you're the Rhoda.
Romy : YOU'RE the Rhoda, you're the Jewish one.