The Life of a Compulsive Liar

Brian and I had lunch today at a snooty little hotspot in WeHo. I got the number while Brian parked. Either the wait was shorter than expected, or Brian took a really long time getting there, because after a bit, they asked me if my entire party was here. I said yes, but the host kind of looked at me standing there by myself and then went down the list and gave my table to someone else. A few minutes later, they asked me again if my entire party was here. I said, no, but I just wanted to have coffee while I wait. They went ahead and called a different person's name. A few minutes later, they asked me again if my entire party was there. I mean, seriously...my entire party is TWO people. You can freakin' seat me as if you were seating for one. So I went up to the host and told him, "LISTEN. My party will be here in a few minutes but I really need to sit and have some coffee and have some ME time before I'm ready to deal with my partner, okay??" And they promptly sat me.

What the f--Partner??? In a fit of irritation, I managed to spontaneously become a whole imaginary character whose back story was that she was this chick in a bad mood because her lesbian lover was going through another craving of drama and she just needed some quiet time before she dealt with the crazy bitch. And somehow, I had spontaneously calculated that a PMSing (possibly violent) lesbian act would get me a table.

I'm a little afraid of myself right now.

(must use powers for good...)