1/25 Recap

I've found that lately, when I wake up in the morning, the first words to scroll through my head are...Peja Stojakovic . Remember when I went through the Zydrunas Ilgauskas stage? This is just as bad. I don't think these guys are good looking. Good Lord, it's not that. It's just hte words. For some reason, my brain likes to say their names right when I wake up. Maybe it's like stretching. Mentally saying Eastern European names first thing in the morning is like yoga for the mind.

I went to hypnosis today and she was telling me how a woman on her period is empowered because she is getting in touch with her feminine energy. That's when I realized that I'm actually a man because my insides were dying like a vampire in sunlight as she went on and on about periods and cleansing cycles and empowerment and feminine energy. I just...kinda accept it but don't want to hear about it. No seriously, I don't want to hear about it.

I usually don't get my hopes up because I feel like mean people salivate at the thought of other people getting disappointed, but I'm kind of hoping that He Looks Like will win something so I have an excuse to go to South by Southwest. I've heard so many times in the last few months how I would really love Austin and how cool it is, that I'm taking it as a sign that I have to visit. If anything, Amber lives there and she seems to be having fun and setting windows on fire and getting laid 24/7, so this place has got to be the bomb.

Why is it so horrible to the human mind/body to hear fingernails scraping against a chalkboard? Can someone tell me, scientifically, why that sound is so all around excruciating to us? Is it the pitch? I was unloading my dishwasher today and this glass casserole dish scraped against some butter knives and made that fingernails-against-chalkboard sound and it took all of my self-control not to throw the dish across the room just because it had so egregiously offended me. Seriously, does anyone know why we have such adverse reactions to that sound?

I got an email from Ed, a friend from college. He's in LA for work so he wanted to hang out and catch up (Ed lives in Austin, by the way. You bet I'll be grilling him). He's a super cool guy, really nice, but I have to admit I didn't really get to know him well in college because I was insanely shy so I kept my distance from people, and I think he was kind of shy, too. I'm excited but worried because sometimes I revert and feel really shy and awkward again when I'm around shy people. Or around, um...anyone. I never know when that shyness hits and then I get so embarrassed of myself. I wish that would go away. Ah...don't think about it, kid.

Anyway, it's really cool to hear from old friends. I wonder how people whom I've crossed paths with throughout the course of my life are doing more than anyone probably realizes. I think about random people from high school, college, work...whom I've met in the most random places, whom I interacted for years with or maybe only a few minutes...people I love, people I hate...pretty much anyone and everyone. I always wonder...where did life take them? Are they happy? Do they ever feel lost? Have they found that special something that gives them a reason to live when life gets overwhelming? What makes them laugh? What makes them cry? Are they where they always thought they would be at this very moment?

Someone once told me that people who wonder these kinds of things are people who are really lonely at the core. Because what they are really wondering is if anyone else can feel that existential loneliness which is the very definition of the human experience. I can believe that.

I got the Arrested Development DVD and have been watching a few episodes. I never got into the show after tivoing a few random episodes, but I like it a lot more having watched it from the beginning and understanding who the characters are. I'm exhausted now. Going to bed.

Today's mood: So cheerful I'm English