Break It Like Beckham
I've got a picture with him but I don't know how to get it off my phone just yet, and I have to say, he was really nice.
But the thing that got me so pissed off, was the fucking paparazzi. I knew something up when I'm headed over to the Coffee Bean across from our office and I see a group of people come sprinting around the corner. At first I thought it was kids, because the scene reminded me of kids getting off a bus at Six Flags, but then on closer inspection, they all had cameras and they were swarming around a tall blond guy. I thought, that looks like Paul Walker, but then I thought, why would they go crazy over Paul Walker? Well, I walk into the Coffee Bean and there are paparazzi all pressed up against every window taking pictures of Beckham. Imagine Dawn of the Dead or any zombie movie you've ever seen. That's what the windows looked like. And this poor guy was trying to get a coffee. There were only about 6 people in Coffee Bean, and normally I don't approach anyone, but he was really graciously signing autographs and taking pictures, so I asked him if I could take one with him. He said sure then went to shake my hand and so I introduced myself and told him I hope LA wasn't being awful to him, gesturing at the zombie-filled windows. He laughed and said it was alright.
So afterwards, I went out to the parking lot and he had just left so the paparazzi were all running back to their cars. The lot looked like demolition derby because apparently, when these guys need to take pictures, they just stop their cars wherever and jump out. Like right in the fucking lot, don't bother taking a parking spot, blocking in everyone else. So I'm trying to walk to my car, and this one guy is trying to do this crazy 7 point U-turn as fast as possible. He almost hits me so I jump back and he's waving at me frantically to go. So I take two steps to go around his car and he reverses at me again. So I jump away and I yell, what the fuck? And he's waving at me to go. So I take a step and he almost hits me again. Then this fucker has the nerve to roll down his window and yell, "What the fuck!?!" I mean, how does he expect me to get out of his way, if he keeps reversing his car into me?
Truthfully, I don't know how these celebrities keep their cool. First of all, I've always maintained that I never want to be famous. Definitely well-known in my field, but never a celebrity because privacy is sacred to me and I wouldn't want scum like this following me around. Secondly, these guys are total parasites and some of the most disgusting forms of life on earth. This was my first up close run in, and I don't know how people who deal with it on a daily basis keep their cool. Because when he wouldn't let me walk and almost hit me THREE times, and then had the nerve to roll down his window and yell what the fuck at me, I could have reached in there and killed him. I honestly saw red and I could have reached in there and beat the shit out of him if he hadn't screeched out of the lot. I'm amazed with how reckless these guys are, that they don't kill more bystanders chasing photos. They're fucking dangerous.
I know I've got myself quite a temper and it's something I've been disciplining my whole life. I've become so spiritual so it takes a lot for me to get to that point, but when I lose it, I lose it.
According to Brian, Beckham comes to my Coffee Bean a lot because he lives so close by, and I can see the Coffee Bean from my window. I swear to God, the next time I see paparazzi come running around the corner, I'm gonna go over there, find that fucker, and throw a drink in his face. This is the pluto in me speaking.
