I *Heart* Late Fees

I have a problem. I can't return a video on time. I thought I would solve the problem by getting Netflix, and sometimes I'm crazy obsessed with Netflix efficiency, where I'll time how long it will take me to watch something and how quickly I can get it in the mail to get another one, so the rental-fee value of the number of DVDs I've watched surpasses the monthly Netflix cost. But then at some point, I'll fall into my Netflix K-hole where I'll hold the same DVD's for 6 months because I just can't drum up enough interest to watch them. During this time, I'll also rent movies from the Hollywood Video which is a 10 minute walk/2 minute drive from my house. The problem is that 9 out of 10 movies I rent will be returned late. Sometimes it's just a day late. Sometimes it's 2 months. Sometimes it literally takes me 2 months to watch a movie in 15 minute increments (this always does films a disservice because inevitably, I'll recall these films as being "boring," even though I recognize the manner in which they were viewed may have contributed to my inability to become immersed in the experience). Sometimes I watch the film right away, but just can't bring myself to remember or physically make the effort to bring the video back. Sometimes I don't even watch it. Like the $40 I paid Hollywood Video in late fees last year for Alice in Wonderland which I never even watched.

I admitted this problem to someone I knew a few years ago and he said that not being able to return movies on time is an actual symptom of a psychological issue. "Like being a serial killer?" I ask, thinking about the dude from American Psycho. No wait, he was obsessed with returning his videos on time.

When I finally returned Sexy Beast after needing two calls from a live rep at Hollywood Video asking me nicely, I started thinking about that conversation I had years ago and wondering what it was that made it so hard for me to return my videos on time. I mean, if I've already watched the movie, and the store is so close, and I'm in fact at the Starbuck's next door five days a week...why can't I make that extra little effort to return a freakin' video? Why do I get so freaked out when I then have a massive late fee often worth more than the DVD itself?

I did some research and this is what I found:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/30/business/30instincts.html?ex=1325134800&en=a46c0c7842abc8f3&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss

http://www.hbs.edu/research/pdf/07-099.pdf

Somewhere in all this, I need to find out why I irrationally procrastinate in this realm, and how to overcome it, because I'm sure Hollywood Video would appreciate it if I could just be a better person.