My mom speaks very good English. But when you learn a language from textbooks, there are some parts of the language you don't pick up. Words like hoebag. And cunnilingus.

Every movie, my mom always picks out the worst things and asks for a definition. ie

"Julia, what does 'dyke' mean?"

"A lesbian, mom."

5 minutes go by.

"What is 'cunt'?"

"Another word for vagina."

"Is this a bad word?"

"Yes, this is a very bad word. Don't use it at the office."

10 minutes go by.

"What does 'fisting' mean?

Christ. "I'm not going to tell you."

"Julia. You're very not nice."

30 seconds.

"What does it mean, 'she was a squirter?'"

I feel sorry for whoever had to sit with her through Clerks.