so i felt today would be a letting go day. yesterday was the first time i openly talked about what happened with my friend. it has always pissed me off that i was willing to give him such a genuine friendship and he talked so much shit about me. i know it reflected more how he felt about himself than me, but the fact that he did all that because i wouldn't let him use me as an instrument of implosion was just very disappointing. in deep, quiet places, it did make me sad.

talking about it is probably me letting it go. i can't let these things diminish my faith that people are inherently kind. that even though our human side does bad things out of fear or not seeing things clearly, i can ultimately trust myself to take care of myself when things don't seem right. i try to remember that i have a close circle who know me and let me be me, that when people use me for their dramas or bully me into their games, i understand the situation and i deal with it accordingly. i have to remember that it's not about which people aren't ready yet, but about those who are.