have you noticed graduates of different colleges have different vibes?

god, stanford grads are so hot. it's like they're the people who are good at everything but aren't obnoxious about it, making it kind of obnoxious. berkeley grads are walking computers. michigan kids are so unoffending and naive but your friend when in need, usc people are jedi trainees. ucla's a little spoiled and tricky, like the baby sister who gets everything she wants because she knows she's fucking adorable. then there's harvard. no one ever knows how to act around a harvard grad--do you ignore the fact that they're better human beings than you? or do you joke in a way like, "what? you think you're better than me?" when really, you're ashamed that you think they're better than you. or do you just acknowledge they might be better than you but say fuck it, then try to move on outside of that fact. no one's ever that comfortable about measuring dicks with a harvard grad. and then all the kids from florida...we get it. you guys totally had more fun than the rest of us. utexas grads are definitely interesting--they're snipers when it comes to artistic sarcasm and will secretly win you over with their diligence. i've noticed more than a few arizona grads slip into moments of zombie sheen. and never let a unlv student think you don't take them seriously because...c'mon, you live in vegas...they take themselves very seriously. there are a lot of people at san jose state who are foreign. but it's san jose and that place is a little foreign anyway.

i don't know if i have a favorite school vibe. i think michigan made me hard in some ways, but left me a little soft in the ways that matter when living in an big city. but when i imagine school environments and the powerful energies that mix in them, my favorite is thinking about my mom as a grad student at texas tech, this flirty and brilliant taiwanese girl landing in the middle of lubbock, texas, and trying to teach undergraduates with her very wobbly grasp of english. in the 70's.

i wish i could go back in time and film a reality show.