when i can feel the pulse of a man's heartbeat somewhere behind the steadiness of his gaze, when i know exactly where to push to spill him into my world, i have to repeat quietly to myself, be good, julia. please, be good.

but is what happens really so bad?

i always give something to balance what gets left. i try to only cut in places that make a person stronger.

but it's the taste of blood that always hooks me, that sweet cool current that allows me to breathe underwater.

so really.

my friend

has it been so bad for either of us?