4/19 Recap:

I'm finding that I'm spending most of my work day with my head in the clouds lately, just thinking about stuff. But I finished all my articles today so I've got some space to do that for a while.

I'm reading "Couldn't Keep It to Myself," which is an anthology of autobiographical essays written by incarcerated women. They were all participants in a writing workshop with my favorite author, Wally Lamb. These stories are incredibly powerful. The majority of women incarcerated in the United States have a history of being survivors of domestic and sexual abuse and the stories in this book contain examples of these common experiences. They show how abuse can really interfere and affect a person's development and relationship to their environment. When the women discuss themselves as children, you can see how, with a more nurturing environment, the lives of these women could have very easily turned out differently and so much better. It's really sad when some of them talk about how much they needed their parents' love, how vulnerable they were to their parents, and the ways in which they were rejected and hurt, and how this need to be loved and subsequent rejection caused them to repeat patterns of getting into destructive situations or acting destructively.

Teaching people how to use the past for growth and strength and to be conscious of not perpetuating these cycles of violence and self-hate is the key to ending this cycle. And those who have gotten to the place where they have stood up and stepped out of the cycle, have to be willing to reach out a hand and their heart to those who are lost in it. Healing this pain and giving support to people who are going through this difficult but brave process is one of my life purposes. One day, I hope it makes some sort of a difference, even if it's only to one person somewhere out there in the world and I never know about it. That would be really validating.