Friday, April 23, 2004

The death of Pat Tillman has really upset me. I remember reading about his story and being amazed at his character and embarrassed for the fabric of my own. Someone who believed so much in something that he would drop his life to pursue it. It's not just about his loyalty to his country or to his fellow man. It was that he believed so much in something, regardless of the ambivalence of the rest of the country and the world. The headlines about his death in Afghanistan have been central on most of the major sites, from Yahoo and Msn to CNN and ESPN. I have always hated when media exploited the fears of the masses and sensationalized gruesome, upsetting stories. While I regret that there is an element of this in this story as there is no escaping the nature of the beast, I get very angry when people say, "They're only making it a big deal because he was a pro football player. So many others get killed every day and no one says anything." This is really doing a disservice to the character of this man. Yes, so many soldiers are killed weekly in this senseless war. And no, we don't know every soldier's story. But the thing that made Pat Tillman stand out was who he was and what he strove to achieve. If I read a newspaper story about a car salesman who leaves his life and family to join the war after his country is threatened, I would be amazed by this man and his commitment to defend the things he feels are important to him. And if I read that he was killed, I would be just as upset. Hell, if I knew the personal stories of every soldier out there, then I would be equally upset every time one is killed. If you want to be cynical of this story, blame the media. Blame its bloodlust and its infantile need to sensationalize in order to draw mass attention. But don't disparage the integrity of this man and what his life was about by associating him with the lame messenger. Every single casualty in this war upsets me. And if I knew the personal story of each person, it would devastate me. I know I'm a little bit too sensitive, but imagine if each and every one of us knew each and every person who is killed each day in this war, from one side or the other. Imagine each and every person whose body is decimated to the point that the soul can no longer reside in it, whether he is fighting for our country, his country or his beliefs. Now imagine that you know this person, you know who he is, where he comes from, what he dreams, what he fears, what he loves. And imagine that this person can no longer exist anymore on this earth. It's crippling. It's absolutely emotionally crippling. And it confuses me so much. Why are we doing this?