I DID IT!

I read at the open mic tonight. I did "Prozac" and "One More Thing About My Mother." It was cool because I got a lot of laughs at the beginning of "Mother," and then when I get to the part about coming home to find my mother's body, I got kind of emotional and people got really quiet and when it was done, the room was silent. Then I said, "My mother didn't really kill herself." And everyone just kind of breathed again and someone yelled, "You made all that up?" And I laughed and said, "Of course." The host gave me props for doing well and being calm and composed for my first time, but I was totally shaking inside. But I'm glad I did it. Wow. Growing up, my shyness was damn near paralyzing. I'm amazed that I've managed to do what I did tonight.

There were some incredible performers tonight. A sampling of gems: "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity." "A girl told me once that she doesn't swallow because she's Vegan." "If you get your hand caught in the cookie jar, use it as a weapon." "I hate my bed and I hate your bed, and I hate that I woke up in your bed."

The last performance was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. This HUGE hispanic guy put on some gonad-shaking tribal music and tore up the stage with this rant that was the most fucking raw, violent, excruciatingly delightful output of emotion and rage that I have ever seen. My eyes must have been bugged out for the whole ten minutes. After he was done, the host went up and said, "I just want everyone to know that Manuel just had sex with all of you." And it was true. It felt like I had just been raped by a chainsaw and the gaping, ragged hole it left in me was morbidly satisfying.

Today's mood: Cadent