david will be here in less than 24 hours. and i have a feeling after that, everything changes. i can't see how, only that it's necessary, and that i have to have faith that i'm ready to handle the next chapter of my life. to borrow my favorite line from one hell of a well-written show (friday night lights):

clear eyes, full hearts can't lose.

and so, i prepare to leave all that i find familiar.

*****

the thing about scorpio is a lot of astrologers tie this sign to an obsession with and influence of death, and as my scorpio friends tell me (both consciously and subconsciously), they're always aware of death, that one day life may end, and that at that point, they get taken away from all their stuff. they tend to be really into the distinction of what is "their stuff." they also tend to be really obsessed with the need for control, and what is the ultimate loss of control but death of the human consciousness.

but the other thing i've tied to the symbol and energy of scorpio is represented by the tower card in the tarot. this card used to scare me because it came up in every single reading i did for people within the 2 weeks before 9/11, and i was just beginning my connection to the tarot.

see? scary stuff. especially when your wisdom hasn't become fully aware yet.

but then as my relationship with the symbols of tarot matured, i began to see how the tower also represents a different type of death--an event so cathartic or catastrophic that all that was once familiar is demolished or exposed, so that there is nothing left for a person to do but collapse and mourn their lost world, or continue on into a new situation, position or challenge.

here's the thing about life. you have to build your life the way you would build a house. maybe you were young and all you really wanted was a fort, so that's what you built, supported by the precarious legs of 2x4's. but as you get older, and as you expand your domain to support more things and people in your life, you have to make room for them. but you also have to make sure that the foundation you've built will support these new things you want now and in the future.

the way the events represented by the tower work is that sometimes, there are events in your life that shake up your world. and if you've built your life on a strong foundation, your tower will stand. but if you haven't, your tower will come crumbling down, forcing you to either be completely overwhelmed by the rubble of your previous life, or bearing the wisdom gained by reflection, you can start anew by consciously building a stronger foundation which will support your needs, desires, hopes and dreams. a tower event can be devastating, but it can also be the best thing that ever happened to you, forcing you to let go of things in your life that are no longer useful or that no longer suit who you have evolved into. it can be challenging but fulfilling, depending on the strength of the foundation you've built, as well as your ability to be flexible and deny your desire to control things that are out of your control so you can recognize your path exactly as it comes.