last night i had a strong tower dream.

i found myself walking into a hotel room that was modern, gray motif with floor to ceiling windows depicting a gray world outside. it was an expensive room but i could comfortably afford it because i was successful myself. i was staying here with a girl i knew from college, a sagittarius whose limited idea of who i was had limited my feelings about myself when i was younger. she wasn't there so i went into the bathroom where there was a massive, luxurious tub, and ran water to take a bath. i went back into the room and saw that she had left a note for me. connected with millen, it said, with a big happy face. millen? i went through my mental files trying to place the name millen, then remembered it was this uber-pretentious east-coast writer she'd liked. i saw an open notebook on the desk and read it. she wrote about meeting up with millen whom she'd been a big fan of, and how talk of literature led to dinner and finally a kiss. she talked about how this was a dream come true. i had ambivalent feelings towards her because of how i felt she'd tried to limit me, but i wasn't jealous of her happy experience. i was too expansive inside for petty feelings.

i went back to the bathroom and saw the tub was only half-full, and the water was lukewarm. i realized i hadn't closed the drain fully and so the water had been draining as i was trying to fill it. i didn't really feel like taking a bath anymore so i went out.

as i walked out of the hotel's glass doors, the city was all gray steel and windows, skycrapers, sidewalks and steel-colored sky. everything was clean and metallic, comfortably neutral. everything looked new and foreign, a future city where everything was in order. i'm sure there were people around but i felt isolated in my own world until i ran into a someone whom i've been missing. we were surprised to see each other but very happy. it felt like fated coincidence. how did you find me, i asked him. are you really surprised, he asked, and i realized that i wasn't. it was always meant to be. we hugged then held hands as we walked and i could feel he was in a different place. he was glowing...he was free. what happened, i asked him. he smiled so happily, a warm energy that started in his chest and expanded all around him. i changed everything, he said. i let go of everything that was holding me down. and her?, i thought but didn't ask. he laughed and shook his head. not your concern, i read it as saying, and it was true because we were here, together, knowing exactly who the other was, and we were happy. then i realized, this whole time, neither of us had said a word...everything had been communicated within our minds. it didn't matter where it was we'd come from or what structures we were responsible for or tied to in the physical world...what mattered was that we had managed to find each other here, and we had a private, mystical place in which we could truly connect and we didn't have to hide anything.

we reached a street light and i pressed the button, letting go of his hand. we didn't say a word, just so content to have found each other in this place. when the light changed to green, i reached out and grabbed his hand, suddenly fearful that this gesture might be inappropriate. but the feeling of connection felt right, and he squeezed my hand like it'd always been this way, and we crossed the street, hand in hand like we were always meant to be whole.