funny. no one has ever said it's atypical for me to disappear. i wonder if what that actually means is that for a little while, i was more consistently present than usual.

it's weird because i saw this new era coming, even understood what it would be like--standing at the doorway of a world that's completely foreign or new, and knowing that once i stepped through, the rules would be different and the lessons would be harder. i wouldn't be able to cheat anymore, since lately, i'd started being able to see the answers as i received the questions.

but then to be here...it's like my psychic antennae is still stronger than ever, but the things i need to see, i completely can't see. but in this new era, i'm not allowed to depend on my abilities of analysis to double check my intuition before turning in my answers. left brain is somewhat disabled leading me to learn to depend on my right. it's the equivalent of an athlete breaking their dominant hand and learning to use the other. you should see my handwriting right now.

so where do we go from here

the secret is all around us
...........life is where we seek it
..............of lies that illuminate the place where we meet again.

that's really all anyone needs to know right now.

you can still talk to me if you need me, and i'll try my best to be present.