Okay, so I'm going home early, taking a flight on Wed instead of Sunday. I can feel it in every part of me...the physical stiffness and awkwardness in my body, the whine of anxiety in my chest, the confusion and irritation in my mind, the tension nightmares. This is not where I'm supposed to be right now.
It's not that I don't appreciate an opportunity to travel and that I'm not grateful for my opportunities. It's just that this isn't the right time for this trip, and I'm really here as a favor to my family but truthfully, this is not where I'm supposed to be right now. I should be in my home base, resting and preparing. All I'm doing is eating and sleeping through the days and nights, trying to stay centered and generate the energy needed to communicate with who and what I'm supposed to be communicating but it's difficult because I'm not where I'm supposed to be so it's like trying to do your work remotely on a faulty wifi connection. Everything around me and inside of me is screaming that I'm out of sync and need to get back. So I called the airline figuring if it's too much trouble, I would stay, but in a 5 minute phone call and without having to pay extra, I was able to change my ticket. I knew it was the right decision when relief instantly washed over me. And now I'm just biding my time until Wednesday.
Taiwan is a great place otherwise, though I just feel completely out of sync right now. It's like watching a movie and all of a sudden, the main characters disappear and all it is is thousands and thousands of extras and you realize, something's not right...what happened to the movie?
I'm falling asleep at random times, but it's not so much sleep in terms of resting or escaping, but almost deep trance-like states. I'm dreaming almost immediately, even though a part of me is aware of what's going on around me...I can hear the conversations of people in the room, I can hear TV's, I'm aware of what's going on. Yet, I'm also in this dream world.
In these "dreams," I'm exploring places and looking for people. I'm waking them up and telling them, it's almost time. I see people who are sad or are filled with doubt, and I am touching them gently on the shoulder and telling them to stand up. Sometimes, I show them projections...they're almost intellectual projections that show them religion through time, how man's strive for spirituality has been manipulated and distorted through organized religion by handfuls of unscrupulous men who were desperate for power, when God belongs to each and every one of us because God is everywhere and God is everything and God is every one of us. There is no seperation between what is God, or the Universe, or whatever name you want to call him/her/It/That, and the energy that surrounds us and animates us. God is love. Positive energy. The transcendental lifeforce that with our lives and our good intentions, we honor, and with malicious intent, we destroy. People have wasted thousands of years and thousands of lives fighting over what to name this force, but it's the most ridiculous of disagreements that only sidetracks our collective focus. Everything that a person seeks, we already have access to if we let go of fear or doubt and rise up to accept it and us. These projections that I show people in my dreams are images, almost like mirages, yet within them are all these ideas that don't need to be spoken, so that it's almost a whole conversation conjured up in a vision. And in the dreams, people understand. Because we are all connected, and deep down, Truth is something we all know. It's time we let go of the lie that destiny is in the hands of others or at the whim of uncontrollable forces, and realize that with acceptance of who and what we are, come unity and strength and an ability to recognize truth and love and a person's righteous path, and in accepting our connection to each other and the greater entity to which we all belong, we'll find that really, so much of this struggle of life is really an illusion and beyond that, are the things that really matter.
For me, there is no greater power than love, and for me, there is no separation between God and love and the energy that is the lifeforce of every being, and that's what I'm always trying to explain so that people understand. It's knowledge they have within themselves; there's nothing extraordinary about me. We all come from the same place so we all have the potential for awareness. I do realistically know that not all human beings are sapient or aware, and this can make them dangerous, which is why those who are enlightened have a certain responsibility. We are only as strong as our most ignorant point of consciousness.
I don't claim to connect closely with everyone outside of a fundamental respect for people and an understanding that we are part of the same collective being, but for those who are closer to me, those in my "group soul," or in my psychic phone tree so to speak, I think we're getting to the point where it's very important that we start waking each other up, especially those of us who are powerful reality projectors, because there's something happening, and it's important for people to remember who we are and what we're really about, and sort themselves out so that they are powerfully projecting life energies filled with positivity, love and strength.
I really feel it's important right now, and we could really make some wide-reaching positive changes if we can stand up and work together now. There is a door opening.