i'm letting the little things get to me. i think i'm being asked to learn how to deal with women, how to work with them, how to deal with the competition that arises, and what to do when they are passive aggressive. it's always the queen bees or the wannabe queen bees that i have conflict with, even though it's weird because i tend to defer unless they get too ridiculous. but i think they take that as a sign of weakness, because if they get increasingly bolder, rather than go head-to-head, i usually leave. but i think that leaving shouldn't always be the answer, even if i believe that closing one door opens another so i don't cling to things like they're the last good thing to ever happen to me. but i think sometimes, it's about establishing dominion, that i don't necessarily care to dominate others, but while my intentions are usually to put a team first, i can't let other people establishing domination for the sake of dominating push me away from my own dominion, where my strengths lay.

i'm probably irritated tonight because i think someone's been playing a sneaky passive-aggressive game, and while i'm aware of them, i can't really do anything about them because it's hard for me to believe anyone would mess with me to mess with me even if the evidence is there, and it's harder to put a name to it when it's hidden under a smile and the context of comraderie. but my instincts are good. someone's messing with me. and half of the problem is i'm letting them.