man...i have no desire to be in the public eye. i like having a following, i like a detached kind of notoriety, but i do not want the public to own me. i hate the way people feel entitled to take apart other people, like the way we treat our celebrities, politicians, athletes, etc. once people have their collective eye on you, you lose your freedom to be you without the distortion of judgment.

these are a few of this week's anomalies:

-went to return a basketball at the front desk of the gym. the new sales guy, the one i finally closed my "negotiations" with (i only wanted them to concede one thing and i would join), was behind the desk with the two usual staff member. he's a tall guy, about 26, said he used to play pro ball in europe. he knows i joined for the basketball court. i returned the ball and as i was leaving, he asked, "hey,...so, uh...when are you going to bring your husband in?"

i turned around and searched his face. he seemed sincere enough. "when i find one."

he did look truly embarrassed, saying he thought i said i had a husband.

"no husband," i said. "but maybe i have some kids running around that i don't know about."

the whole desk laughed and i left. later, he found me reading on the elliptical machine and said he was really sorry about that conversation. i told him it was cool and that i actually thought it was kind of funny. i asked him how sales were going, and he got embarrassed saying he's not really into being a sales guy. i told him that sales is good for people like us who are competitive, because it allows you to compete with yourself.

-this big bear of a guy in his 40's keeps pulling my ponytail while we played 2-on-2. okay, i probably caused this situation, because the last time we played, i had to guard him but he's gotta weigh 240. there was no way i could out-muscle him. one play, i got low to box him out...just threw all of my weight into my legs and back and pushed. i moved him out of the box, but i had to use his body to keep me upright while i got my legs back under me. to do this every play would be too f-ing hard. so he said, "look at you, pushing against me."

i gave him a sly smile.

"don't you know? i'm flirting with you."

so then my team won that game. because guys can't focus when you're flirting with them on the court. they put up bad shots trying to impress you, and they don't play you as aggressively because they want the contact but they also want the distance to be able to watch you. i don't purposely flirt to take advantage of defenders, but hey, i can't help that i'm a naturally charming basketball player.

but now the consequences are that he likes to pull my ponytail flirtatiously, and he likes to touch me...a lot. the price of winning. so we all know what this means...i switch up my schedule.

-lesbians. lesbians. good for you.

-i was at this cafe yesterday and look up to find this white guy in his 40's standing over me. "do you come here a lot?" he asked. i remembered him as a guy who had me on his radar here the day before, but i pretended not to notice him and he didn't engage. i did catch him looking at me as he walked out the door and i smiled...80% out of friendliness, 20% smirking that he'd been too chicken to say something. i'm sorry. sometimes i can't help myself. i taunt but it's an innocent kind of taunting. so now i'm in the same cafe, and he's standing there, talking to me. then i notice he has his coat on, and no coffee in hand. i've been fairly aware of the room, and i know he hasn't been here the whole time. and after he left, i watched him and he went straight out the door. i think he must have been walking by and saw me through the window, or he had walked by around the same time i was here the day before to see if i was here. either way, he was determined to talk to me and invited himself to sit down. by his body language, he was very anxious, too. i was very nice, and friendly, but c'mon...no offense to older men, but i want to grow old with you, not trailing 15 years behind. he was eager to tell me that he owned two investment properties as well as his own company. i wondered if he was hoping that would impress me into being enamored with him, like a caveman conking a woman on the head with a club. i'm always suspicious with guys who try dangling shiny "facts" right up front. the way i feel, unless you own an island and take me to said island in a private helicopter to prove that you do indeed own an island, i will not be impressed by claims of wealth. i am happy enough with a guy who has a job, can support me and kids, is a cool dude, balances me, and never makes me get up at the crack of dawn.

-hehe. i'm in a playful mood tonight. rie always tells me to stop glamouring poor, defenseless guys. i say that i can't help it if they wander themselves over on their own two adult legs. today this guy did the drunken bee approach. do you know what that is? it's when a guy is walking by and he sees you, and he's got such a sudden, compulsive impulse to approach you that he starts walking in your direction, but his brain's like, "wait...what the fuck is going on?" and so half of him is coming at you like a magnet, and the other half is trying to stop the approach. it makes them kind of weave with a very conflicted look on their face. so this guy rambles his way over and pretends to be looking through the windows behind me, then when he realizes i'm looking at him like, "what's up?" he asks me what my name is. then he says he thought i was leslie, this tv newsreporter's wife. and then he just stands there and stares.