i just want someone to come home to, someone i can fall asleep with his arms around me, my head pressed against his chest as the rhythm of his heartbeat lulls me safely into sleep.

it's been a long time since i've really been able to sleep. every angle of every minute, feels like, searching, seeking, waiting. discovering new things and saving them, to share with him. but i come home, and he's not here. just echoes...and the night.

and then that struggle, to finally jump over that dark chasm into a sleep world that holds not sanctuary and repose, but more cryptic strangers in a forest offering clues to finding him if i just give them something in return. and i always do.

people always say i'm single-minded when it comes to purpose. and this purpose has drawn me so far out that perhaps i am closer to home than when i started. i always believed home was a person for me, a place existing in the space between two people connected beyond time.

i'm so tired. i can feel my insides buckling. maybe the time has come to stop searching for home. maybe it's time that home comes searching for me.