this guy kind of ran away yesterday. the majority of me doesn't care, but i know there's a part that's been feeling bad. i was at a music show i read about in the weekly that sounded interesting. i watched this guy with dark brown hair and a warm smile talking to a shorter, feisty guy, and i wondered if they were gay guys on a date or just friends. i was hoping to talk to him, and i smiled at him when our eyes met. his smile back made me dizzy with giddiness. he asked if he could join me and we talked, but i was feeling really shy because i'd been wanting him to come over, but now that he was here, i hadn't thought anything else through. the music started so i stopped talking or looking at him and just focused on the stage. we sat there in silence for a few songs and then he suddenly gives me this little wave and walks right out of the building, giving me a sidelong glance before he disappears out the door. he seemed kind of offended.

it's a shame. it was a good opportunity for two people with certain similarities to get to know each other. people so rarely give me the benefit of the doubt that i might be someone who needs a little coaxing to get out of her shell.