I get mistaken for 25, 26 years old a lot. That has been interesting. Especially when 50 year olds are hitting on me like I'm going to take what they're offering seriously. I think I've been mistaken for 25, 26 for about 12 years now. I used to look older for my age, and now I look younger. My mom always believed I would end up with someone a lot younger than me (she still laments that my brother's trainer is only 22 and not ready to settle down). Someone younger will look up to me and adore me so there's no competition, she says. I think I'll end up with either someone younger, or more likely, older. The biggest issue in my past relationships has been either the person feels insecure so they're always trying to compete with me (I see relationships as places of safety so it doesn't allow me to relax and feel safe if the person closest to me is trying to compete with me...I'm competitive by nature but I usually focus that energy on competing with myself to continually evolve into a better version of myself), or they want me to dominate and completely take care of them (I have a strong personality but I'm not comfortable dominating or being dominated. I want someone strong like me, but who can be a gracious partner like me). I definitely don't want a partner who sees our partnership as a competition, but I want them to have an open and curious mind and spirit. I think I'll end up with someone if not actually older in age, then in spirit because they will be able to continually teach me things while understanding that I am a continual work in progress.

But then, I see myself as having a young spirit but an old soul. I probably need someone who's the same. Whichever side each person puts in the forefront at a given moment, is what brings out the most in the relationship in a complementary way. It's a dance. There's a chemistry. The different parts within each person just work well balancing out the sum of both people.

Men in Seattle have not been very interesting to me. I'm bored. But I think that's probably a good thing. I should really be writing. Like right now. I'm supposed to be thinking about a wax museum and a bag of chips. I have about 25 hours. Think, Julia. Think. No, stop going to the fridge. There are no answers in there. Get back here and think.