i know i can't be mad. i'm probably more sad about it than anything. people want to look and see my insides even if they don't want them, they don't want to have to be responsible. they just don't realize that it is painful for me to show my feelings and see how they don't fit into this world. it's for my own survival that i have to keep them hidden. no depth of hole can make me not aware of them. but burying them under words and words and words is the only way i can make sure my mind continues to function even while being denied the things i want most. it's how i keep myself sane.

i'll never tell you what i feel.
i'll never tell you what i want.
unless you tell me how it is i can trust you.