My New Band: Warren & the Proverbial Pussy

It's a conceptual band. We lead audiences into a large empty room with stark walls, filled with Ikea furniture. On the amoeba-shaped coffee table, sits this:

Once the room is filled with audience members, we assign half the people as prison guards and half the people as prisoners, giving the guards batons and tasers. Then we quickly run out of the room and bolt the doors before anyone can react. Once we are sure the people pounding on the doors understand there is no mistake, through the loudspeaker, we play a sound loop of indigestion as heard through a stethoscope at a quarter of the normal rpm. 10 minutes later, we would start releasing a perfume specially formulated by reknowned Italian perfumer, Sebastiano Biscotti Piscopo, creater of lust! and PERV. The perfume combines various floral, citrus and mammal essences to mimic an olfactory experience akin to the cool dampness between a Catholic schoolgirl's thighs shortly after a hot, post gym-class shower, and that ghostly aura of an orchid pistil the moment one suddenly realizes what the flower in a Georgia O'Keefe painting represents. Our German band consultant/head chemical scientist Johanne Von Motke assured us, that the smell in conjunction with the sound experience will split the listener into a heaven/hell experience with both pleasure and pain overcoming their senses simultaneously for a cathartic experience. Then, as social constructs break down and the prison guards abuse the prisoners and prisoners scream for God and their mothers to open the door, a rebellion eventually will form as characteristic of humans under extreme duress within oppression. That rebellion, fighting both the psychological sadism of man, the siren smell of sweet perfume and the maddening sounds of a man's flaming esophagus, will discover somehow, through the manipulation of their environment, that if the toy on the amoeba-shaped coffee table were played until "the cow says moo," they will suddenly experience a moment of divine clarity, realizing that I am Warren and they, the audience, are the Proverbial Pussy, and yes, I have just had sex with all of them. Then a door will magically open towards a corridor with the EXIT signs clearly marked.

So far, we've only been booked at small venues in Amsterdam, Berlin and Orlando.