so i'll have no phone going into germany. fucking sprint. having no cellphone for me feels like not wearing a seatbelt when i get in a car. just totally naked.

i actually paid attention to packing today. i'm normally the world's worst packer because i always do it last minute and i totally don't care. i'm the kind of person who can show up to a place and realize i have no pants or socks or something. but i wanted to make sure i didn't mess this up.

this is my first trip out of the country by myself. i always travel with family and i've done my little spontaneous trips in the US alone, but i'm going to a place where i don't even know the language. i'm totally convinced this has a lot to do with me watching the amazing race for the first time a few months ago. there's a part of me that's always messing with the other part of myself that's conservative and timid, so i'm guessing the plan is to drop me in the middle of germany armed with just a guidebook and my wits, and see if i can survive. it's totally a survival adventure. i can feel that conservative/timid part of me has had a scream plastered on her face the last few days. she's utterly terrified. of course, i ignore her. i got my mom's war-general side.

the german guy wrote back and i told him i'm gonna be in germany. i debated whether i was going to tell him all week. it seems silly not to mention it, but then i worry about an unspoken expectation of sex. he seems pretty polite though and he's busy with school so if i do end up seeing him, i'm not too worried. he's close to munich which is the last leg of my trip, so at least by then i should be feeling more confident in traveling alone so i'll be able to gauge the situation from a steadier foundation.

so i'm going to frankfurt, then bacharach, then amsterdam, then berlin, then bavaria/munich. i want to see if i can squeeze austria in, so i haven't booked my hotel yet for munich. i'll see how exhausted i am. i hope they have strong coffee out there, because i'm also a pussy with jetlag.

i have 6 dvds, 4 books, 2 comics and 2 notebooks. i think i treat boredom as something to avoid by all means. but i know this is just to pass the time on the plane. when i get there, i've got a lot of work to do.

weather is supposed to be in the 40's. that doesn't scare me.

the only thing that scares me in life anymore, is a teabag to the face by a black guy wearing only baby oil.